A peace of mind

Last night I watched FRIENDS as I always do on my Star World channel everynight. It was the episode where Ross found Joey a job at the museum. The scene was during lunch time at museum’s canteen. Enjoy…

It was so funny!

Anyway, little did I expect similar thing to happen to me, during lunch time, today…

Just a little background on what happened few weeks ago. My colleagues -whom I considered as friends - were told off by their boss not to have lunch with the auditors. Reason being: To prevent conflict of interests.

First thing that crosses my mind was: Bullshit! This is a violation of human rights and freedom! Lunch time is my own free time and I can hang out with whoever I want. Second, it never even crossed my mind to talk about work during lunch time.

Come to think of it, conflict of interests is not the main reason. I think their boss has guilty conscience! And I think, he/she is scared that I korek it out from my lunch kakis during lunch time.

So today, lunch time… my so called friends walked-off to another table - just like Ross. There’s this invisible division of white coats and blue blazers between us, which I regretted.

What’s wrong with being an auditor? Aren’t we humans? Why are we treated so differently, just because we try to make things right? And yet, when things go wrong, we are the ones to blame, just like in the recent financial turmoil. When things go wrong, fingers are pointed at us! (I’d save this topic for another day).

Sometimes it’s difficult to draw a line between work and personal life… When your boss orders you to stay away from someone, you do it! Otherwise, you may jeopardise your promotions, increments, bonunes, training opportunities, etc. But it’s a bit tricky when your boss orders you to stay away from someone, after working hours (or during lunch time, for that matter)!

For me, it definitely crossed the line.

Year 2007 was definitely not a fantastic year for me, neither was it a bad year. It was a special year for me. It was a year where I learned how people’s priorities differ greatly from mine; a year where relationships either developed further and more meaningful, or crushed down the drain like they are worthless piece of garbage. It was a year where I took baby steps in doing things that I had never done before, failed, and tried again, still failed.

Work

I started the year working my ass off for my company for a meagre monthly salary. There were times when I got so stressful that I couldn’t sleep thinking about unfinished jobs and tight deadlines. There were nightmares! Then, with the support of my boyfriend, I started loosen up and learned to let go these unhealthy stress. I felt sorry for Ms May Leong, a HP employee who died on 21 April 2007 after sitting 8 straight hours in front of her laptop. She was only 28 years old. I’m sure she has had plans for her future and what she wanted to do with her life. She reminds me that life is vulnerable and there are things in life worth more than money.

Just a few days back, I was asked to attend 3 days of stocktaking at one of our retail clients. Stocktake will be conducted at night and I’ve got other jobs scheduled directly after stocktake in the morning. To be frank, I am awfully interested to attend the stocktake, but I rejected it. I understand due to lack of manpower, someone has got to do it, and that someone ain’t gonna be me. If my work is going to jeopardize my health, I’ll think thrice. It’s different from doctors who act selflessly by caring for patients in times of SARS, it’s…. a stocktake.

Friends

During the second quarter of 2007, things turned from bad to worst when we faced problems at Dover home. One of my friends seen quoted “Money or harmony?” on her MSN. I am unsure to whom this question was directed.  She was either finding the answers from her inner self or she was asking us to make a choice, either way is equally appalling. For me, the answer is obvious. Money never guarantees happiness, money never guarantees harmony. The mere mentions of money have ruined many relationships, friends to foes, brothers to enemies. The word ‘money’ should be used tactfully and cautiously.

Many times I have hold back my unhappiness and dissatisfactions to maintain friendships just to feel disappointed because others do not treasure them as much as I did. That’s when I learned that people have different priorities in life, while some value money more than anything; others gave up all sorts of material indulgences to achieve something greater. Take Mother Theresa for example. She resisted the temptation to return to the comfort of her convent days and ventured out to the slums to help the poor and needy.  “I heard the call to give up all and follow Christ into the slums to serve Him among the poorest of the poor” she said.

Do I want to risk my relationships for a few dollars of gain? I used to say yes. I used to be petty of the dollars and cents and bully the minority. “Penny wise pound foolish”, as what Phillip Woo would say. I guess many of us are. We don’t mind spending thousands of dollars to buy that new laptop, the latest Prada handbag or a piano for that matters. But we seemingly have trouble affording a few dollars of harmony money. Hopefully, it’s not too late for me to apologize to those friends that I have hurt before, whether intentionally or unintentionally.

Loved Ones

Enough of bad things in 2007! Hua…ha…ha…ha… Anny was right. He brought me to a candle light dinner at Capella and popped the question. We will be quite occupied with our new home this year. Hopefully this coming peak doesn’t take much of my time with my loved ones.

I’d love to share Brian Dyson’s (CEO of Coca Cola Enterprises) advice:

Don’t take for granted the things closest to your hear. Cling to them as you would your life, for without them, life is meaningless.

Things closest to my heart are my family. I miss my family a lot, I miss hearing Hakka language being spoken in daily conversations, I miss home cooking, I miss my naughty nephew, Samuel. I was fortunate to go back to Jakarta twice in 2007, once during Chinese New Year and recently in Nov’07.

2008, here I come. I look forward to lots of things in 2008, a family gathering for auspicious events this coming February, renovating our first love nest, promotion (hopefully), and then the Big Day!

Once I told my boyfriend that I am willing to settle for less, here in Singapore. In Jakarta, I can afford a car, stay in a landed property with maids to serve my needs, while here… I am my own maid. I do everything from ironing clothes to cleaning the toilet. Please don’t get me wrong, I am not complaining for being an independent individual – though I have to admit that it would be delightful to be pampered once in a while – I am just painting a picture of how my life is in Singapore.

Everyday is a routine, waking up early each morning for a job that takes more than my 50 hours a week and coming home to an apartment that vibrates when my upper neighbour’s kids screams. The most frustrating thing is when you are tired after work, wanting to hail a cab home but then you waited for an hour before finally a willing cab driver stops in front of you. Nobody hails cabs nowadays; people call cabs or book in advance.

In Jakarta, I can choose to drive or take public transportations, a luxury that I can’t afford in Singapore, yet. Buying a car in Singapore costs a fortune, mainly because of the COE (Certificate of Entitlement) that costs almost as high as the price of the car itself. Of course there are affordable chinese cars around, but sometimes I wonder if having a car in Singapore would mean extra convenience. This is because land is scarce and by the time you manage to find a parking lot, you soon realize that you still need to walk a distance to your intended destination. And every time I took cab after work, there were always unavoidable traffic jams in AYE or PIE. But of course, jams in Singapore are nothing compare to jams in Jakarta. I remember when I drove there, the journey home that usually takes no more than 20 minutes became 2 hours in a traffic jam.

When I went back to Jakarta few months ago, a friend of mine took me for a ride on Transjakarta busway. I was thrilled! It was the first time I took the ride since it was in operation few years ago. It costs Rp3.500,- (less than 60 cents) regardless of distance. So we bought the tickets and waited inside the bus shelter with dozens of other passengers heading home after work. Having used to Singapore’s transportation system, I can’t help myself from comparing.

First of all, there is no proper queuing system. People were packed inside the shelter like trapped sardines and the only way out, was that single door that opens every time a bus come. It was so crowded that I could smell the sweat of people surrounding me. My feet were forced to move not because I wanted to, but because people were pushing from behind.

Secondly, there is only one door to get into and out of the bus, unlike Singapore’s buses which have at least two doors to allow passengers to board and alight with ease. Furthermore, although the door opens/closes automatically by using sensors, they employ an additional conductor to make sure that the bus is not overcrowded during rush hours. That’s inefficiency!

Singapore’s public transportation system (excluding cabs, mind you, I have prejudice against cab driver) is excellent, even Neil Humphrey, a TODAY columnist, has commended it many times. MRT is the best way to travel if you want to avoid traffic jams. SBS Transit even has the technology to let passengers know the waiting time of a particular bus number by using sms. Bus lanes are really meant for buses even without the road divider. Unlike in Jakarta, the governor installs road dividers for the buses, but still some stubborn people drive on the bus lanes.

I love Singapore for one reason called security. In Jakarta, most people hide in their vehicle because they know that it is unsafe to walk on street like any other normal people. Even when I was on Transjakarta Bus, I automatically turned on all my internal security sensors to make sure that no pick pockets or perverts touches my stuff. Once I was pushed out of a bus in Jakarta by a man who forcefully snatched my Swatch – a gift from my brother – and then I cried. I was 14. Same goes to Malaysia. I could never forget the disgusting chinese Malaysian old pervert who groped my butt 6 am in the morning when I was on my way to school.

Come to think of it, I am not settling for less after all. In fact I am settling for more, because this little red dot provides me with a sense of security worth more than any landed properties and any cars combined together. It’s priceless.